Pondering Christmas

I can't believe it. I simply cannot believe it.

Furthermore, I can't believe I'm writing about it.

I've misplaced my Christmas spirit. I'm a bit scroogy (a trait reserved usually for hubby not "moi.") I'm not enjoying the season. I'm not in the mood for Christmas. I've tried to get there - via shopping for the best deals, planning, making lists etc. It's just not working. Could it be that I'm totally on the wrong track? That maybe (prepare yourself - goin' out on a limb here) I'm too busy being world-focused, thing-centered and self-absorbed. I know that Christmas is not about the wrappings, trimmings, gifting, cooking, eating, and all of the indulgences of the season. I know that it's about the birth of our Savior and God's gift to us. But, I can honestly (and very disgustedly) say that all I've thought about since the week prior to Thanksgiving is sales, gifts, presents and what I need to get where. Yuck yuck yuck. Am I bringin' you down?

Could it be that the world's recipe for Christmas is not the answer?

Why...whatever gave me that idea. Could it be because I've spent too much, returned some in an effort to even things out a bit, and, in the process, robbed not only my checkbook but myself and my family. I've traded my happiness for guilt and emptiness. I've robbed myself and those around me of the joys of giving and sharing in the season that is about that very thing. Oh, I've been wanting to give...to buy...to wrap...to have...STUFF. I've successfully (READ PRIDEFULLY) avoided focusing on the reason for the season. I thought - well duh, I know what the season is about. I don't need read about, think about all of that. I know about Jesus and his birth. Thus...I am robbing of myself, my family and the ones I love of the very best part of the season. So, what now? Well, I wish I could say that I have a plan for fixing everything. But, I don't have one - exactly.

But I am working on one. Time for plan B...which should've been Plan A!

Step one, dust off God's Word and start to refocus. Remember the reason for the season. I think up to this point, I've thought that sounded trite...until now.

Beautiful Fall Music

When you have four children, three of which currently take piano lessons and one who thinks she does, you hear a lot of "music." Some of it is beautiful, some will be beautiful - eventually and some...well, let's just say that of it I just pray is over quickly. In hearing so many pieces, sometimes they all blend (or should I say blur) together into a homogeneous unipiece. In my busyness I fail to really listen, appreciate and enjoy the blessings my children give me on a daily basis through their music. They play, plunk, cry and, on occasion, I have even heard something I could only describe as a deep, throaty, primitive-type growl during practice sessions. What can I say, frustration doesn't always bring out the best in us. I stopped to think how eerily quiet my house would be without it. It sounds ethereally peaceful. I long for it, wish for it, even pray for it. Then, on the rare occasion that I actually get to experience the quietness I so long for, I find myself missing for, searching for, dare I say, even longing for the chaos burgeoning state I am so accustomed to?

Shhh...don't tell my kids. I told them I need some peace and quiet, whatever that really is.

Well world...welcome to my blog. I've been considering blogging for sometime and I thought I'd go ahead and take the plunge. It's not that I have anything particularly revolutionary to say but more as a way to record some of the unrelenting craziness in my life! Today is no exception on the insanity scale. Psalm 23 here we go. This should calm me down.

"The Lord is my shepherd;".....because I am definitely a lost sheep, or should I say an "I've lost it-again!" sheep.

"I shall not want." OK, now class, repeat after me. I shall not want. I shall not want. I shall not want. Repeat as necessary. In my case, that means repeat constantly when surrounded chocolate, Coke, new clothes, scrapbooking supplies, aqua Fat-Baby boots, sleep, clean house, memories of peace and quiet, new houses, fewer wrinkles....

"He maketh me to lie down in green pastures." If someone would be so kind as to locate the green pasture, I'd be happy to take it out for a spin. I'd like to lie down, really I would. Knowing my luck, I'd lie down, only to find a nice stinky patty located about 8 inches away from my head.

"he leadeth me beside the still waters..." In my case, I'm sure that God was referring to the day that my children have finally succumbed to my insistent notion that the bathtub is not for swimming or platform diving. (And yes, I have seen the dives in action. Please, do not try those at home. Cast iron hurts!)

"He restoreth my soul." The best part, the icing on the cake, the method to the madness, the end all, be all....he does restore my soul. Now if we could just do something about restoring my body to it's pre-children state!